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McDonalds Offers Exclusive Miami-Spice Menu

McDonalds across Miami-Dade County will be offering a limited time "Miami Spice" menu in an effort to attract foodies who might not otherwise eat at the Golden Arches.

The exclusive price fixed menu, available until September 30, will feature classic McDonalds dishes such as "cheeseburgers" and "nuggets" at massively inflated prices. For $39, diners will be offered french fries as an appetizer, the choice of either two cheeseburgers or 6 nuggets as an entree, and a fountain soda as a desert. Ketchup and bar-b-q sauce is available for a slight surcharge and diners can substitute their entree for a filet of fish for an additional $12.

"What a great experience!" said Esmarelda Velasquez of Coral Gables as she and her husband stepped over a drunken homeless man sleeping on the sidewalk outside of the Bird Road McDonalds. The Velasquezeseses, dressed in evening attire, said that they had a wonderful evening and enjoyed coupling the nostalgia of eating at a McDonalds with the satisfaction of being able to pay 13 times more than the meal is worth.

"A cheeseburger just tastes better when it costs $39," said Damian Velasquez as he waited for his car from the McDonalds valet.

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Milo is the Editor of the Plantain. He went to college.
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