SCRIPT can be read HERE or found at the end of this article.
I have always loved the show Roseanne. I fell in love with my wife during reruns of the show and have such fond memories and an affinity toward it that I’m almost embarrassed. I think the people who make it are unique and funny and daring, and that America’s connection and history to the Conner family provides an opportunity to tell really interesting stories about Americans struggling with real crises. By way of background: I don’t acknowledge the existence of Season 9, I think Darlene and David is the most realistic couple to get together in a sitcom, and believe there is a way of salvaging the Roseanne reboot in a way that honors the show’s history, allows a lot of very talented people to continue creating their art, and moves the story’s focus to the next, more interesting, generation of Conner children…Even Jerry!
The Conner children have changed quite a bit in the decade since the show’s original run ended. Becky is an alcoholic widower struggling to support herself and panicked by the realization that she can no longer have children. Darlene and David are still in love but no longer together, thanks, in part, to David’s inability to cope with his brother’s death. Unable to find a job to support herself, intellectual Darlene is forced to move back to her parents’ Lanford, Illinois home with her two children. DJ is a military vet suffering from PTSD and raising his daughter alone while his wife continues to serve overseas. Finally, Jerry Garcia Conner, Roseanne and Dan’s youngest child born in Season 8, is apparently grown and working on a boat without any further explanation.
These characters have changed and grown into very different people since we last saw them and are suffering through the type of realistic issues that don’t get talked about too much on network television. Roseanne, Dan, and Jackie are pretty much exactly where we left them at the end of Season 8, give or take a knee injury and stash of pills.
The show’s writers deserve room to explore where the childrens’ unique situations can go without having to waste time on Roseanne herself, whose Season 10 storylines have been far less compelling than those focused on her children. With Roseanne’s excommunication from entertainment, I have taken upon myself, as a long-time fan, to propose a pivot:
The following script re-reboots Roseanne Season 10 as “DARLENE”, in which the Conner clan is forced to deal with Roseanne’s unexpected death. The script gives Dan and the kids, including Jerry, an opportunity to come together and grow as a family, and provides some much-needed development to Jackie’s stagnated character. Laurie Metcalf is a national treasure and she deserves a rich storyline and an explanation about what happened to Andy, her son that born in Season 6, but never mentioned in the reboot.